Love, Conditioned

We learn to love the way we learn to swim—by watching others, replicating their form, until the body automates what the mind never examined.

Love, Conditioned traces what happens when the strategies that once kept us safe as children become the very thing that isolates us as adults. The accommodation reflex. The preemptive apology. The silence mistaken for peace. The self-awareness so fluent it circles back into avoidance.

These poems move without sentimentality through the territory most people recognize but few name with this precision: conditioned intimacy, the relationships we keep through habit long after feeling has gone, the slow erosion of desire into duty, the friendships held at distance because honesty would end them. The choice to stay with someone without certainty—and to call it commitment rather than fear.

This is not a book about healing, and makes no promises about what clarity costs or where it leads. It is the poetry of living with what you know about yourself: sharp-eyed, unsentimental, honest about the distance between understanding a pattern and breaking it.

For anyone who has spent years fluent in others' needs, now slowly learning to translate their own.