Daily Life with a Retarded Child

The border between "normal" and lightly retarded can be fluent. A "normal" child understands a sentence and keeps on talking. A lightly retarded child, however, does not always understand the sentence but pretends to do in order to avoid being laughed at. As the content of the sentence is the basis of the whole conversation, the lightly retarded child is now mentally offline. And nobody notices, as it is hard - even for professionals - to see if a lightly retarded person has understood what has been said.

The closer the child is to a "normal" child, the harder it is to help it without making him/her look like a fool to the other kids. When the retardation come closer to moderate retardation, nobody's in doubt. It is in the grey zone between these two states that the school and the home must learn to navigate, helping the child without making it look "stupid and odd". It is really difficult, but can be done.

Quote
"The first couple of years with a handicapped child are the most difficult. When all the diagnoses are in place, when the special school has become routine and all the false friend have disappeared - you will be surprised how few real friends you have, when you become the father and mother of a handicapped child. But the safety suddenly returns. Not the cosy, self-assured safety without a child, the empty safety. Now it's a meaningful safety, a real life. We don't understand how we have been able to live for so long without our little child. They disap-peared like dust to the wind, when you came, little boy."

Father to a moderately retarded 11 years old boy